221: Scratch-Off Rip-Off

This one goes out to all my ladies, all my multitasking mamas who need energy to show up at work and at home, all my empty nest explorers who need a little gut health support for the journey ahead. AG1 is the daily health drink designed to support whole body health with over 75 essential nutrients and pre and probiotics so you can make the most of every day and every decade. Learn more@drinkag1.com hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. Now I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills, but it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a try@mintmobile.com switch upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months or $180 for a 12 month plan required $15 per month equivalent to taxes and fees. Extra init than 50 gigabytes. Me slow when network is busy. See Terms it began long ago. Two young boys in an American town riding their bikes to school and little league practice. Over the years, the boys became fast friends, united in their love for stories where things would go horribly wrong. Pour yourself a strong beverage and buckle up. You're in the shallow end with schnepply and toff, episode 221 of the Shallow and rich Nebulin Toth finds yet again, Jethro, in the great state of Maine. I am. I'm in northern Maine. I can't get any close to any closer to Canada without falling in it. So I'm enjoying it. It's beautiful. Lovely up here this time of year. But I would think that being a native Mainer. Am I saying that correctly? Sure. I would think that being a native Mainer, that the month of August would be about the most perfect time of the year to be in the state of Maine. Yu-Gi-Oh it is. Except it's goldenrod season, which means allergies this time of year, they. They bloom and they're beautiful, but man, do they make me sneeze. What about September? Much better. But cold. Okay. By then the snow's flying. So summer is only 90 days. By then this. Those snows flying, you know. Yu-Gi-Oh Oh, so she's flying. That's right. He's right. So much better than me. That's right, numbnuts. And what's the other expression you use a lot? Is it bub, bub, bub. A lot. And what's another one, sweetie. A main expression. A main expression like numb nuts. Wicked. Wicked. Okay. Hey, Buzz on the street is that despite the goldenrod being in full bloom, you have cobbled together another amusing story. Well, I've cobbled together a story. Whether it's amusing or not remains to be seen. We'll leave that to the listeners. It happened in Charleston, West Virginia, around the beginning of 2001. The surviving accounts are frustratingly brief. They don't name the bank involved. They don't tell us how much money was stolen. They don't tell us. They don't even give us the full name of the. The man police believed might have taken it. But they do give us an alibi. Well, that's a start. Yu-Gi-Oh and it's spectacular. At some point, after a Charleston bank was robbed, police detained a man they believed could be connected with the crime. Okay. We don't know why they suspected him. Perhaps he resembled the robber. Maybe somebody identified him. Whatever brought him into the room, he now faced a serious problem. Bank robbery. Of course, a federal crime, even an unarmed robbery, can bring years and years of prison. If a weapon or a threat is involved, the consequences are much, much worse. So the man did what any innocent person is supposed to do. He told the police that there had been a mistake. He had not been the bank robber. He could not have robbed the bank. He insisted he. He was somewhere else at the time. And this is encouraging. A verifiable alibi can end an interrogation pretty quickly, I would think. And if you were working or eating in a crowded restaurant or visiting your grandmother, or appearing live on Wheel of Fortune, investigators have something to begin with, one-of-one Sure. I wonder how often that's actually happened where someone says, no, it Goldin have been me. I was talking to Pat Sajak on television. It's just weird enough to work, isn't it? Yu-Gi-Oh And that's the thing about. About living here, that. That would be the kind of thing where cops would go, oh, Yu-Gi-Oh Yu-Gi-Oh Yu-Gi-Oh In LA for sure. Yu-Gi-Oh The obvious question is, of course, well, where were you? And the man apparently understood that this answer might create a few difficulties. Still, a bank robbery investigation was already underway, and he needed something strong enough to get himself out of it, so he. Of course. So he told them. He said at the time of the robbery, he was in another state. He was. He was in a different state. And they asked him why, and he said, well, I was buying heroin. So you can almost feel the air leave the room. The interrogation room. Points for honesty, I guess. This Was not a casual admission that he had been home smoking a joint or something. Heroin was and remains a controlled substance. Buying it could expose him to possession charges. The number of packets involved could turn a simple possession case into something that looked more like distribution. I was gonna say, Isn't the expression possession with intent to distribute? Yes. Yu-Gi-Oh Still, that's some serious stuff, saying you were buying heroin. If. If it's only a story, that's one thing, but you tell police that story, it becomes something else entirely. But he came prepared to prove that he was actually in the throes of a drug possession. He had the receipt from the hotel where the transaction took place, which was helpful. That's something. That detail is what elevates this from poor judgment to something approaching performance art. He had preserved the paper trail from the heroin person purchase and then handed it to the police. The receipt apparently did what he wanted it to do. It gave investigators a hotel and a room that they could check. Police follow the trail, searched the room, and reportedly recovered 84 packets of heroin. Holy cow. Yu-Gi-Oh still there. I'm no expert, but that sounds like a lot of horse. That's. That's. Yu-Gi-Oh That is a whole lot of the devil's dandruff. And that's quite a ways from. They may be. There might be a little something in my coat Beckett To 84 individual packets that suggests preparation for sale. Although the surviving newspaper account doesn't state the weight value or who legally occupied the room, it also raises the question about what the man thought would happen after he produced that receipt. Perhaps he expected police to call the front desk, Confirm he had stayed there, and stop asking questions. But he had told them he was there to buy heroin, which, last we checked, was a crime. Instead, they followed the alibi all the way to the room. And an alibi is supposed to send investigators toward witnesses who can clear your name. He sent them toward evidence bags, rubber gloves, and a considerable amount of paperwork. The man's alibi had worked beautifully. It placed him away from the bank and directly beside an impressive collection of narcotics. There is an important part of the story that most outline retellings leave out. According to a version published by the El dorado success on March 1, 2012. That's a great name for a paper. The bank robbery charges were Tribute He may genuinely have been innocent of the robbery. The police had apparently detained the wrong man, Just as he claimed. He then convinced them of their mistake by guiding them directly toward an entirely different crime. It's kind of the legal equivalent of escaping from a burning building by leaping into a wood chipper. Unfortunately, the surviving account ends there. We don't know whether he. Prosecutors charged him. We're assuming they did. We don't know how much time he did. The guy's name was Donald. That's all we know. Maybe that's all we need to know. And that's really all we need to know. So here is where we can say with confidence. By March 2001, this account was appearing in actual newspapers. Both surviving versions agree on the strange central claim. But the original AP story, I. I can't find it. I can find it listed as an AP story, but I can't find the original one. And it doesn't give us any more of the details as far as sentencing and. And that sort of thing. So if you were being accused of a major crime you didn't commit, how much trouble would you be willing to confess to in order to escape that? This man apparently made a calculation. Lynn's bank robbery was worse than heroin. And technically his alibi worked. But I don't know. I don't know if I had to. I don't know. I'm not savvy enough to know. Is it like three years for possession of heroin with intent to distribute and 10 years for a bank robbery or. I doubt very much he did the calculation. Yu-Gi-Oh Yu-Gi-Oh he was kind of flying by the seat of his heroin laced pants. And for those of you who have ever had heroin laced pants, you know how difficult that can be in an airport or any other place, like maybe an international checkpoint? Real drag to get out, I bet. Indeed. Hey, when you said Donald, it just. Something popped into my head. Having worked at Disney, I collected a lot of obscure pieces of information. And every time I hear Donald, I think of Donald Duck's middle name. Do you know what Donald Duck's middle name is? No, I don't. Fauntleroy. Okay, that is interesting. I've never heard that before. File that away. I will file that away. Honey, what are you listening to? Mom? Your teen might not share everything with you, but teens share everything with each other. And certain everyday behaviors, like sharing food, drinks or kisses, could mean sharing bacteria that can cause meningococcal disease known as meningitis. Although meningitis is uncommon, about 1 in 10 who develop it will die. Ask your teen's doctor about missing meningitis vaccinations. Learn more@meningitis.com Vaccination may not protect all recipients. Sponsored by GSK. This one goes out to all my ladies. All my multitasking mamas who need energy to show up at work and and at home. All my empty nest explorers who need a little gut health support for the journey ahead. AG1 is the daily health drink designed to support whole body health with over 75 essential nutrients and pre and probiotics so you can make the most of every day and every decade. Learn more@drinkag1.com the email address is lifeguardallowenpodcast.com A listener named Amy, who appears to be married to a gentleman named Cody, writes hi Lindsay and Jethro. This is mostly for Lindsay to help him feel better about his recent head injury. I've gotten permission from my husband to share when we first moved into our home, our back fence line was a five foot tall deer fence. We had just gotten a puppy so we wanted to change the fence to be six feet tall. With the height difference it meant we needed to put new T posts in. We lined up our nine T posts and got to work on our second to last post. The T post driver, weighing probably 20 pounds caught the corner of the T post and slipped back hitting my husband squarely on the head. Yu-Gi-Oh blood. I just love this sentence. Blood was immediately everywhere. Somehow he did not pass out. Oof. We put a towel on his head, went inside to see the damage. Unlike you Lindsay, who immediately went to a doctor, we weren't sure what to do. I think we were just in shock because neither one of us had experienced an injury like this. We did make it to the ER a short time later. My husband walked out with four staples, a tetanus shot and a 1 inch scar on the top of his head. We recently had to put in a couple more T posts for some string lighting around our yard and we both were very nervous but fortunately escaped unscathed. Oh good. Be careful with your noggin Amy and Cody. Thank you Amy. We're glad Cody's okay. You'll be happy to know I was just telling Jethro before the show that I had my six staples removed last week and I'm proud to be staple free. Well done good sir. Amen. Amen. This one goes out to all my ladies. All my multitasking mamas who need energy to show up at work and at home. All my empty nest explorers who need a little gut health support for the journey ahead. AG1 is the daily health drink designed to support whole body health with over 75 essential nutrients and pre and probiotics so you can make the most of every day and every decade. Learn more@drinkag1.com you're in the shallow end with Schnebly and Toth. Not surprisingly, Jethro, I have a story out of. Wait for it. Florida. Oh, can you believe it? Hard to believe. There are criminals who spend months planning the perfect crime. As you and I have discussed over numerous stories, they do things like studying security systems and they work very carefully on disguises and they use getaway cars that aren't registered in their own names or they swap license plates or things like that. And then there's 43 year old Justin Farley of St. Petersburg, Florida. Justin apparently looked at the criminal rulebook and said, you know what? I don't think I'm gonna need that. Now, before we get to the grand finale here, let's take a look back at Justin's previous career in crime. According to a federal affidavit, his criminal history actually goes back more than 20 years. Speaking of drug sales, Jethro, in 2003, he was convicted of felony sale of cocaine. 2007, he Beckett up a felony conviction for possession of a controlled substance. And apparently somewhere along the way, Justin decided the drugs weren't complicated enough. So he added firearms to the resume. In 2007, he was convicted of being a felon in possession of a firearm. In 2010, convicted again of being a felon in possession of a firearm. Because, heck, if it works once, why not do it a second time? Sure. That same year, 2010, he was convicted of possession of oxycodone. So by 2025, Justin Farley had a criminal resume stretching back more than two decades. Apparently, he decided it was time to branch out into something completely different. And that is exactly what he did. On the evening of May 5th last year, 2025, Justin allegedly drove his gray Hyundai Elantra to a Circle K in St. Petersburg. He walked inside, went toward the back office, opened several cabinets, and allegedly grabbed seven books of scratch off lottery tickets. Aha. Total value, about $7,000. Now, normally, as you and I have discussed, when you steal something, the next step is to get as far away from the crime scene and as quickly as possible. Justin's strategy was apparently, well, let's see if these are winners. So about 40 minutes later, he drove to a different convenience store, a 7 11, and tried to redeem some of these tickets. Oh, Yu-Gi-Oh But they wouldn't cash them and they don't say in the story. But my guess is that after the theft, the Circle K store contacted the lottery office and said, hey, these tickets were stolen. And the lottery office, I'M guessing again, took them off of the registry, as it were, and said, no, these things are hot. Well, the 711 says, sorry, pal, we one-of-one cash them. And this is again where a normal criminal might think, Yu-Gi-Oh these tickets are stolen. Maybe I should leave town. But not Justin. Justin apparently thought, I think I'm gonna get a second opinion. Oh, no. So where do you suppose he drove? Oh, I have a pretty good idea. If you're guessing the original store, if you're guessing that he drove back to the Circle K, that exact same store he had just robbed, and tried to cash the tickets there. Absolutely right. Ding, ding, ding. Yu-Gi-Oh Think about that for a moment, buddy. Imagine stealing a television from Best Buy and then returning 45 minutes later saying, Yu-Gi-Oh I'd like to return this TV for store credit. Sadly, there are people that try to do that. Well, Justin wasn't returning anything. He was allegedly trying to cash in, of course. The lottery tickets he had stolen from that very store just hours before. And the store said no. So he left. But apparently, he wasn't ready to give up on his dream of turning stolen paper into cash. A short time later, he came back to that same Circle K again and tried to cash the tickets again a second time. Again, he was unsuccessful. And at this point, somewhere in the Circle K, an employee had to be thinking, didn't we just deal with this guy? Justin's lottery career obviously was not going well. So he went back to that 711 that he'd gone to before. And here's where the evening took a darker turn, because according to investigators, Justin returned wearing a black mask, a yellow shirt, and black Nike tennis shoes. And this time, he allegedly had a gun. Well, sort of. It actually turned out to be a replica Glock 9 millimeter. But of course, the clerk didn't know that Justin allegedly points the replica gun at the clerk, demands that she open the cash register. So she did. Justin got approximately $120 in cash. Yu-Gi-Oh Yu-Gi-Oh That's right. He'd already stolen $7,000 worth of lottery tickets. He'd spent the evening trying unsuccessfully to turn those tickets into cash. And when that didn't work, he committed an armed Rob for $120 and a pack of Newports. Because if you're gonna, you know, go home and count your stolen $120, you're probably gonna want to light up a Newport, right? Sure, sure. Yu-Gi-Oh And let me see. Tropical Fresh Bubblicious. That's right. So he allegedly even forced the clerk into a back room before leaving now, police eventually connected the crimes to Justin through surveillance footage and his gray Hyundai. Investigators watched him for about two weeks. And apparently, Justin wasn't exactly helping his own defense. According to the affidavit, detectives saw him leaving his apartment wearing those same shoes and jeans that he had worn during the alleged Circle K theft. It was almost as if he were saying, hey, detectives, remember me? Look. Same outfit. So, a few weeks later, police pulled Justin over. They searched the vehicle and his apartment. They allegedly found that replica firearm, the clothing, the mask associated with the 711 robbery, and guess what? Seven lottery ticket books allegedly stolen from the Circle K. During a recorded interview, Justin actually admitted to the crimes. His explanation. I needed the money. Yu-Gi-Oh well, Justin, I think we figured that part out. That's generally why people don't steal $7,000 in lottery tickets. But here's the real tragedy of the story. Justin apparently had a chance to commit a relatively complicated theft. He had $7,000 worth of tickets, a getaway car. He'd allegedly gotten away from the Circle K. And then he made the decision that turned the whole thing into. Into a comical police investigation. He came back to the crime scene to cash the tickets. Not once, not twice, but repeatedly. Yu-Gi-Oh Yu-Gi-Oh Yu-Gi-Oh After more than two decades of criminal convictions involving drugs and firearms, Justin Farley allegedly found himself in trouble again. And this time, the downfall wasn't sophisticated technology. It wasn't brilliant detective work or license plate readers or DNA. It was some elaborate. It wasn't some elaborate undercover operation. It was basically the criminal equivalent of walking back into the restaurant and asking the waiter, hey, remember that wallet I stole from you? Can you break a 20? Yu-Gi-Oh And, you know, I mean, the idea that he steals the tickets and totally botches that up and then goes right to the armed robbery, it seems to me like he could have cut the middleman out there, you know, and just gone to the armed robbery. Which, by the way, I do not suggest you do. We're not endorsing this idea, kids at home. But it just seems really ineffective. Yu-Gi-Oh Yu-Gi-Oh I believe that here in the state of California, using a replica gun is just as serious as using an actual firearm. Yu-Gi-Oh because the victim doesn't know that the gun is not real. Right. Exactly. Ironically, Jethro, I could not find, despite quite a bit of research, on Sunday afternoon, I Goldin find a sentencing report. So I don't know exactly what the judge threw back at Justin when he came before him, but I'm guessing that due to the fact that he had 20 years of previous criminal history, Justin is probably sitting somewhere in a Graybar hotel doing some time for the aforementioned crimes. My question is, after two decades of breaking the law, why was he even on the street? I guess, you know, great question. I guess maybe he had done his. He had done his time and got cut loose. I think that there should be a new law. Once you reach a certain threshold of crimes committed, you have to go back and reserve every single sentence cumulatively. Yu-Gi-Oh Yu-Gi-Oh I like that. Yu-Gi-Oh Mr. Hardline Law Enforcement, that's for you. Johnny Law. Johnny Law from the state of Maine. Oh, by the way, I got this from the New York Post and the Associated Press. Guys, we love that you hang out with us. We appreciate it so much. We love getting your emails. You can send your stories or comments to lifeguardsallowenpodcast.com and we. There's a pretty good chance we may read it on the air. Very good chance. And until we meet again, which will be soon, make good choices. Your life might depend on it. So concludes another episode of the Shallow End with Schnebly and Toph. We thank you for listening. Oh, be a dear, would you please subscribe to this podcast, give these boys a five star rating and think of something nice to say, even if you have to make something up. And visit us online@shallowendpodcast.com okay, gotta go.