222: Six Days in a Twenty-Three-Year-Old Jeep

This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work? It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi step projects and when you need more than just answers. Give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides and structured reports. Get started@chatgpt.com by selecting work mode available on plus and Pro plans. This episode is brought to you by Disney. What does it take to build a world people never want to leave? In Disney World builders Academy Award and Emmy nominated filmmaker Leslie Iwerks takes audiences inside the creative journeys of some of Disney's most influential storytellers. Featuring exclusive interviews with James Cameron, Jon Favreau, Kevin Feige and more, this new documentary reveals the imagination, innovation and storytelling that continue to inspire generations and shape entertainment. Coming to Disney on August 20th. It began long ago, two young boys in an American town riding their bikes to school and Little League practice. Over the years, the boys became fast friends, united in their love for stories where things would go horribly wrong. Pour yourself a strong beverage and buckle up. You're in the Shallow end with Schneppeli. And tothe episode 222 of the Shallow End with Schnebly and Toth. And if things sound a little different, you thought last week was wild. One of us is not in a studio. Well, technically a studio, but one of us is on a studio on four wheels. I'm in my car somewhere north of Daytona patch auto this point, running a little bit late. So I appreciate you bending your schedule in order for us to record in this high tech, highly unusual way. I just love the fact that Internet technology is such that we can do this. I know, I know. I'm going to put my phone down just a little bit so you one-of-one be able to see my face, which should be fine. It actually would work better, I imagine for you. No worries at all. But my hand was getting tired, so Yu-Gi-Oh So here we are. Here. We're going to give this a shot and see how it works. I love that about us. Hit me with a story. All right, here we go. There are certain sounds that instantly tell you something has gone terribly wrong. Like truth. A smoke alarm, for example. Breaking glass. The sudden appearance of banjo music while you're lost in the Maine woods. And late on the evening of May 2, 2026 people in Milbury, Massachusetts heard another one. Police sirens and lots of of police Sirens. Yu-Gi-Oh Just after 9:20 that Saturday night, police received a report of a large vehicle moving erratically along Route 20 eastbound. This doesn't sound good. Yu-Gi-Oh well, immediately you. You have to assume that moving erratically, that's probably an O, an Yu-Gi-Oh or something like that. The caller actually describes something weaving in and out of lanes. It was stopping in the roadway. It was drifting toward oncoming traffic and behaving in a manner that suggested the person behind the wheel was either impaired, confused, or attempting to operate a machine whose instruction manual was back in the glove compartment of a completely different vehicle. So in a completely different language. In a different language as well. The roads were dark. Officers began searching for the suspect. And the vehicle somewhere out ahead of them was a dangerous and unpredictable driver. So the chase was on. But this wasn't a Camaro. It wasn't a motorcycle. Wasn't even a. Like a 2003 Saturn. Do they make those anymore? I don't. I don't think so. I don't think they do. Police actually were looking for. Wait for it. A front end loader. You know what? You know the vehicle. It's that enormous piece of construction equipment with four massive tires. Sure. A gigantic metal Beckett attached to the front. I love those things. I would like to have one just to drive through the McDonald's. Drive through. Wouldn't that be cool? I had one as a kid. It was a Tonka version. And I spent hours in my sandbox pretending that I was working on a job site with that thing. And were you? Which is how I ended up, ironically, in radio. I'm sorry, I wanted to know if you were also pretending you were union. Of course. Yu-Gi-Oh I had the live union. Work, work, union, live. Better sticker on my hard hat and, you know. So proud of you. I'm so proud of you. Yu-Gi-Oh Yu-Gi-Oh Officers initially checked the stretch of Route 20 running through Millbury. And. And believe it or not, they Goldin locate it. A front end loader is not that easy to conceal. It doesn't slip quietly into the alley. You can't throw a tarp over it and hope. Everyone assumes it's just a patio set. Eventually, though, right, an officer spotted the machine stopped on Park Hill Avenue. Okay. And according to the police report, the loader's Beckett was raised and the man behind the controls appeared to wave the officer around him. Just come on by. Nothing for you to see here, officer. I'm just at work. It's a move of remarkable confidence here. He allegedly was operating a construction vehicle that didn't belong to him. It didn't belong on a public roadway, certainly not at night while reportedly intoxicated. And he was annoyed that the police cruiser was behind him and wasn't passing. Who could blame him? By the way, if you're wondering, it just started downpouring in the car I'm in lovely. The driver began lowering the Beckett Although police said the movement appeared uncoordinated. The the giant metal scoop jerked up and down and the officer initially thought the driver might be pulling over. But he was not. He had just slowed down a little bit more. The front end loader then began moving again. A little bit faster, but still not very fast. It's a front end loader. The operator ignored. The blue lights continued down the road. Police followed. Sirens came on. More officers joined the pursuit. This was like a circus. The driver allegedly swerving across the roadway, repeatedly drifting into the wrong side while jerking back toward the center. At the last minute, police said he nearly struck several vehicles, utility poles and other roadside objects. This was a genuine police chase involving multiple cruisers, flashing lights, screaming sirens, and a massive piece of stolen construction equipment. Lumbering along the Massachusetts freeway, residents heard the commotion. They all came outside. One woman, Kimberly Jones, looked out her window and saw the several police cars surrounding the front end loader. Her first thought was that there must be some late night construction happening. And then she realized construction workers generally don't arrive with sirens. And the world is the poorer for it, don't you think? If I've said it once, I've said it a hundred times. But Jones began recording and later she told WHDH that officers at the scene described the situation as one for the books. She was also concerned that the driver might climb onto somebody's lawn, destroy a fire hydrant, or simply roll over the police cruisers attempting to stop. All of that is possible because a front end loader may not be fast, but it is extremely large. The pursuit continued down Martin Street. And now we arrive at the most important detail. The chase had reached its maximum speed. Police estimated about 10 to 15 miles per hour. I was going to ask, what's the top speed of a front loader like that? I don't know what the top speed is, but they said 15 miles per hour in this case was generous. It was less the French connection and more like the French out for a pleasant walk near a beautiful cafe. Right. A reasonably motivated cyclist could have joined the pursuit of somebody riding one of those mobile scooters probably could have caught up with him pretty easily. It was not a high speed chase. It was a chase in the sense that, you know, one object was moving away while other objects were moving patiently behind it. Eventually, another officer drove ahead, positioned the cruiser in the loader's path near Milbury High School, and I'm so glad. But the driver did stop. He could have just, you know. Yu-Gi-Oh he could have plowed through him. Could have very easily. But still he did not surrender. Police said he shut down the machinery but refused repeatedly to climb out after the officer drew his service weapon and issued another command. Police removed the man without further incident and the driver was identified as 21 year old Kevin Uclis. Kevin Kelly. Kevin Ooklas Flores of Worcester. Officer said he appeared unsteady on his feet and smelled strongly of, you guessed it, alcohol. Everyone acts surprised. Police also documented two details that somehow explain the entire evening while explaining absolutely nothing. His sweatpants were on backwards and he was only wearing one crock. He lost his croc, Lindsay, somewhere along the way. I wonder where that other croc went. Somewhere on the Central Massachusetts Parkway, there's an abandoned crock longing for home. Yu-Gi-Oh Investigators later contacted the owner of the front end loader. The machine belonged to Shady Tree Landscaping, had been parked in a lot near Blackstone River Road for snow removal work. The owner had not given this guy permission to take it. The breath test administered at approximately 10:15pm reported his blood alcohol concentration at 0.214. More than two and a half times. Yu-Gi-Oh I was going to say that's almost three times over. That's way over. Yu-Gi-Oh Police said he repeatedly fell asleep during the booking process. Well, you know, it's. Can a guy get a nap in now and again? Well, heavy machinery is hard. Yu-Gi-Oh that takes focus. Takes it out of you. The front end loader was towed and prepared for return to the owner. No serious injuries reported, which is good. So in that sense, everybody involved was pretty lucky. But the incident leaves us with an important question. Why still the front end loader? Was it just because he was wasted or was it the only vehicle? Maybe the. The guy left the keys inside it. Yu-Gi-Oh maybe. Maybe. I. I'm guessing probably in his condition. Kelvin looked at that enormous yellow machine and saw freedom. I've always wanted to drive one of them, he said to himself. And tonight's the night. Great. And so this is probably the purest expression of the shallow end. Having the determination to run from the police, but choosing a vehicle that they can follow on foot. I love that. That comes from Boston 25 News, CBS News, Boston WHDH. And police one-of-one Nice. When you said Worcester. Every time I hear that town name, I think of Adam Sandler's tollbooth Willie, of course. And his opening line in that sketch is welcome to Worcester State charge is a $25 pop. Yep, that's pretty close. It's not Worcester, it's. It's Worcester. Worcester Park. Right over there, numbnuts. This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work? It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi step projects and when you need more than just answers. Give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports. Get started@chatgpt.com by selecting Work Mode Available on Plus and Pro Plans. Get your tickets now for the Dog Stars it's no surprise how fast civilization can disappear. Go out there. Kill or be killed. Jacob Elordi There are people out there. They need our help. Josh Brolin Shoot first and inquire afterwards. Margaret Qualley okay tough guy. And Guy Peters Arm up the Dog Stars Directed by Ridley Scott. In theaters August 28th. Get tickets now. Rated R under 17 out of mid without parents hey, you love the convenience of a protein bar for a quick snack, but you also love your Italian food. Introducing new Italian food protein bars. The new way to get a quick shot of protein with old school and Italian flavors. Imagine driving to work with a protein bar that tastes like real spaghetti your mom used to make. Or taking the Sepia while munching on a bar that tastes like fresh made lasagna. There's even new spaghetti carbonara bars that'll make you swear you are in your favorite Italian restaurant. We've even made them so moist you can actually spill some on your clean white shirt. People will think you had a big Italian meal on your way to school or work. Italian food protein bars are perfect for picnics and tailgating. All of the flavor, none of the cooking hassle. Italian food protein bars now in your grocer's freezer. The email address is lifeguard@shallow endpodcast.com I just wanted to tell some listeners who wrote particularly long emails. Timothy, you're among them. Amy, you're among them. Todd, you're among them. We're saving those for the episodes where we read viewer mails because I don't want to rush through your your stories. So be patient. And we're about due for that too, aren't we? Yu-Gi-Oh I think in the next couple of weeks. Yu-Gi-Oh we're good to go. Our email. Well, I already gave the email address. Our email address was used by a listener named Adrian. She says, hey, lifeguard, I wanted to tell you about my dip in the shallow end. The best part about it was that I was listening to Lindsay talking about getting staples in his head. This is the second time somebody's referred to this. When I had my slip into the shallow end, it was Saturday morning. I was driving to yoga. I was about to go over the railroad tracks when the red warning light went on, so I had to stop fast. I thought I was a little too close to the track, so I decided I'd back up a bit. I was twisted around in my seat, looking out the back window and backing up. I thought, it's a little bit harder than usual to reverse my car. I wonder why. I finished backing up, turned around in my seat, and realized why it had been so hard to back up. The arm that comes down in the front of the tracks was stuck to the roof of my car. While I was backing up, I was tearing the arm out of its housing. There were about 10 cars behind me, and I'm sure they thought I was an idiot. The train went by. The arm on the other side of the tracks went up. I drove over the tracks and finished tearing the arm off on my side of its housing. I pulled over and hid my face while all the cars behind me passed by. Now what do I do? I called the city council and told them I just destroyed the railroad crossing. They didn't mind at all. They told me not to worry about it and to have a nice day. While I was on the phone, a cop pulled up. He also didn't mind. He said he would call the railroad and have them come out and fix it. And he told me to have a nice day. I'm from Ohio, but I've lived in New Zealand for the past 15 years. These are such a nice bunch of people. They've accepted me into their society even though I'm tearing up their infrastructure. Thanks for your lovely podcast, Adrian. I was wondering where she was writing this from because I thought, I don't know many police agencies or city council representatives that would hear you just tore out a railroad crossing warning arm and say, oh, that's fine. Have a nice day. Yu-Gi-Oh no kidding. I immediately suspected she was not in the US one-of-one Yu-Gi-Oh well, I'm glad you survived, Adrian, and we thank you for your very kind words. This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work? It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi step projects and when you need more than just answers. Give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides and structured reports. Get started@chatgpt.com by selecting Work Mode Available on Plus and Pro Plants. Get your tickets now for the Dog Stars. It's no surprise how fast civilization can disappear. Go out there, kill or be killed. Jacob Elordi There are people out there. They need our help. Josh Broland Shoot first and inquire afterwards. Margaret Quali okay, tough guy and Guy Pierce Arm up. The Dog Stars Directed by Ridley Scott. In theaters August 28th. Get tickets now. Rated R. Under 17 out of mid without parents. You're in the shallow end with Schnebly and Toth. Well, I have a story, JG that is appropriately coming from the great state of Florida. Again with everyone. Act surprised. This is actually a guy in Tampa. His name is Dallas Dishman Jr. And this is just a few weeks ago on August 3rd, he pulled off what might be the most Florida escape story ever told. You ready for this? I'm ready. Now, Dishman was being held at a secure mental health facility because a court appointed expert had determined he was mentally incompetent to stand trial. Which in hindsight is kind of like putting a guy in a locked building and saying, quote, we don't think he's mentally competent enough to understand the legal system. And Dallas said, perfect, let's test that theory. So around 8pm Dishman walks over to a door separating the residents from the outside world. And apparently he somehow knew an employee access code. He Topps in that code, the door buzzes open. Now, I don't know what kind of security system they had there, but apparently the password was less Fort Knox and more welcome one. He props the door open. Then he walks over to the front desk and there's a female employee standing there. Now, according to the police affidavit, when she turns away, Dishman reaches over and steals her purse personnel key card off of her wrist. That's not even a robbery. That's like a workplace pickup. That's the kind of move you'd expect from a raccoon in a convenience store. He grabs the card, runs back through the door he opened, gets to the rear exit, swipes the card. It clicks. He's out. But here's what I think is the most interesting detail. He Then closes and locks the door behind him. Well, he's responsible, Lynn. So. So. So now he's not only escaped, he's actually locked all the other employees inside. That's like an exit interview. That's a thank you for all your time. I've decided to pursue other opportunities. Now, not surprisingly, this entire thing is caught on a security camera. So somewhere, there's a security employee probably watching this footage, like, okay, door code, theft, rear exit. Pause. Wait. Did he just lock us inside? Police put out an alert. They're looking for Dallas Dishman. He's wearing a blue sweatshirt and gray sweatpants. And then nothing. Six days of nothing. Six days. He's just disappeared. It's like he's, you know, been abducted by aliens and is being held in a spaceship somewhere in outer space. Now you know how embarrassing it is when someone escapes from a secure facility and then you can't find him for six days? Well, on Sunday, deputies finally find Dallas in Plant City, sitting inside a 2003 Jeep Grand Cherokee. Now, let me pause here. I have owned several Jeep Grand Cherokees. This guy has already allegedly escaped from a secure mental health facility. He's evaded authorities for six days, and his getaway vehicle is a Jeep that's old enough to have voted for George W. Bush. Apparently, when deputies approached the vehicle, Dishman made what the report calls furtive movements toward his feet. Whenever a police report says someone made furtive movements, you already know the next sentence is not going to be, he was trying to tie his shoe. No. Sure enough, deputies find a plastic bag of methamphetamine on the Fleer near his seat, at which point you can almost hear the Jeep saying, I've made several poor decisions, including taking you as a passenger. So now Dishman's facing additional charges, including possession of a controlled substance, robbery by sudden snatching, and escape from a civil or forensic facility. Here's another incredible detail. Before all this happened, this guy already had 18 outstanding warrants. 18? Yu-Gi-Oh That's like a subscription service to warrants, right? Yu-Gi-Oh I mean, it makes me wonder if the courthouse would have his photo on a punch card saying, Congratulations, Dallas. Number 20 is free. That's right. You get a free coffee with that. So, three days after his escape, the attorney filed to withdraw from his pending cases, and a judge approved it the next day. Now, you can't blame the attorney. Imagine being that guy's lawyer. Your client escapes from a secure mental health facility, steals a key card, locks the employees inside, disappears for six days, and gets caught in a 23 year old jeep with meth. And you're sitting in your office thinking, you know what? I might not be the right person for this. Sheriff's office described Dishman as a dangerous fugitive, which is technically true. But somewhere, I think the security staff at that facility had a slightly different description, which was probably extremely motivated customer. This was like the Shawshank Redemption, directed by the dmv. The saddest part, somewhere in Tampa, there's a security consultant walking into that facility right now. People are sitting around a conference table. The consultant says, so what happened? Employees say he got the door code. Okay, that's problem number one. Then they say he stole a key card. Okay, that's problem two. He escaped through the rear door. Problem number three, he locked us inside. Long silence. The consultants I'm picking. I'm picturing all this. Obviously closes his notebook and writes the summation. Maybe change the key code. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how one man turned a secure mental health facility into the world's least successful escape room. Nobody one-of-one but Dallas definitely got out of the room. That's amazing. Change the key code. I got, this, by the way, from the Tampa Bay Times, always reliable newspaper for stories of Florida people. And he somehow found time to hook up with. With his meth dealer. Yu-Gi-Oh Which I guess when you've got six days, you know, you could probably arrange something. Sure. Yu-Gi-Oh I guess so. I guess that's true. Unbelievable. Yu-Gi-Oh Yu-Gi-Oh Six days. The fact that he could. The fact that he could lock employees in a secure facility, unable to get out is just amazing to me. I am. I'm so glad we're back in Florida now. Yu-Gi-Oh Yu-Gi-Oh I can well imagine. We're just entering Daytona beach, in fact. Oh, I've always wanted to visit Daytona Beach. Why? Because even as a kid looking at those black and white films of the racing on the. On the shore, on the surf. Not on the surf, on the sand, with the surf in the background. It just looked so like what I pictured America was like in the 60s. Dude, you live in Los Angeles. You literally are on the beach. Yu-Gi-Oh but we don't have cool cars racing on the beach. I see. You guys do. Yu-Gi-Oh we sure do. The dune buggy capital of the Southeast. Oh. Our email address is lifeguardsallowendpodcast.com next time you hear from us, I believe both Jethro and I will be back indoors with proper studios and hooks. And another great episode. We always look forward to hearing from you guys. And until we do meet again, make believe. Good choices. Your life might depend on it. So concludes another episode of the Shallow End with Schnebly and Toff. We thank you for listening. Oh be a dear would you please subscribe to this podcast, give these boys a five star rating and think of something nice to say even if you have to make something up. And visit us online@shallowendpodcast.com okay, gotta go. This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work? It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi step projects and when you need more than just answers. Give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides and structured reports. Get started@chatgpt.com by selecting work mode available on plus and Pro plans. Athletic Brewing Company crafts award winning non alcoholic beers for those who want to be part of every round. 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